(2018-12-15) King and Queen of the Snow
It's pageant time, and Miss Snow Bunny's been replaced by the King and Queen of the Snow! Mitch may not have fully gotten the message. Our new monarchs are crowned, and only one contestant ends up in the ER — that's got to be a win, right?

A stage has been constructed at one end of the resort convention hall. A dark curtain obscuring parts of it where contestant props are located. A small band area is to the right for live music as required; Calvin has his own band. To the left is the judging desk where Katherine, Vyv and Calvin will study the contestants and offer advice and/or vitriol. There is even a buzzer if someone's 'talent' goes on a bit too long.
Mitch Buchanan, in tuxedo, is prowling the stage doing his vocal exercises. Occasionally stopping to check his mustache in the mirror he carries around with him. Heather is her usual active self, roaming the area to make sure everything is organized and both hunky and dory.
The rest of the hall is filled with tables and chairs for the guests. Food and drink will be served by catering staff and there is a heavy security presence. No bombers tonight. Hopefully.

Arriving at the entrance, Everett looks terribly uncomfortable. For one, he's wearing a suit and tie that he's almost too big for. For two, this wasn't his idea in the first place. No, this was being forced upon him by the upper classmen on the football team, part hazing, part proving his worth. As such, he'd kept fairly silent about it, not telling anyone else he was participating. And, after his registration stuff is confirmed and he's shown into the area, he quickly finds his way to the farthest, most innocuous corner, and plants himself against the wall, where he will wait and watch by himself unless forced to do otherwise.

Vyv arrived suitably early, though he currently looks as though he's not entirely certain he's pleased about that. Or it might be whatever he's doing on his phone that has him looking slightly annoyed. Slightly more than baseline, anyway. He's settled in what's presumably his chair, demonstrating how to lounge with good posture and ignoring all the general prowling and roaming and preparatory caterwauling. Or at least doing a decent job of appearing to while he waits for Heather to give them further instructions.

At the judging desk, Calvin Shay has leaned into the cheesier side of holiday wear. He skipped the full on tacky sweater for a simple gray one with happy reindeer…but he's wearing a brown headband with antlers. A little bells. Good thing they don't ring or else it'd get annoying fast. He /was/ supposed to perform but Calvin has been struck down by a cruel, but common evil.
Nodules. Vocal cord nodules. He's not terribly happy about it either. He's been put on 'vocal rest'. Which means he's been speaking less and singing not at all. But, he did promise to judge, so he's here. With bells on.

Vic is in a dress! Someone mark it on the calendar, or start counting down the days til the apocalypse. It's green, in a nod to the holidays, and reveals that there is an actual figure beneath all those usual layers of flannel and denim. The PI is meandering around in stiletto heels and finding a place to settle herself near where the judges table is. In solidarity with Calvin, she has on similar headband, with little snowmen instead of antlers.

Eve is in attendance! Hurrah! Although she is here today with some minor modifications; for one, she has washed the pink out from her naturally blonde hair, and for another, she's not wearing super colorful comfy clothes, instead opting for a black high-collar skater dress with long sleeves and short skirt, dark tights and black ankle boots. Aside from her get-up, Eve also has a couple of bags with her, and enthusiastically waving to rando people she passes. Also, she has a Chucky in tow! She doesn't linger in the main hall area though - she's making her way towards the area shielded by the dark curtain. Heyyy, guess she's actually a contestant!

Heather rocks up to the judging table, her professional smile set on her face. She's not happy about Calvin's non-singing. Mainly because it means Mitch will be singing more. "Okay. We'll start with Mitch doing his introduction number. He tells me that he worked in a Calvin Shay number." She looks apologetically to the man in question before continuing. "We do the talent segment for everyone first. Then a question. Then personality…which is basically 'why should I win'. Feel free to shut down the talent part whenever you like." A nod to the buzzer on the table - just the one for the three of them. "Offer encouragement, or not…" Why does she look at Vyv about that last bit. "Any questions? Try to enjoy yourselves." She looks over at the stage. "I'll go check on the contestants now."

Having intentionally disappeared almost as soon as he'd come in, it takes one of the show helpers several minutes to find Everett and explain to him that he's definitely in the wrong place, as a contestant. "Talent portion? What talent portion?" he asks, bewildered as he's ushered towards the contestant's area. When things are explained to him more fully, he groans and shakes his head, rubbing his face with both hands. "Look, I ain't even wannna sign up, the team signed me up! Iono what I'm s'posed to do for a talent!" he argues with the helper. He thinks for a few seconds and then shrugs. "Can you get me like, a football or somethin'? I could work with that." With that worked out, the frazzled staffer gives Everett a very serious frown and then points him in the direction of the contestants waiting area. Where he once again looks to find a blank spot of wall that looks like it may need some support. Don't mind him, he'll just be right over here, hiding.

Chucky - rough translation: boy in giant Olaf costume. Charlie, or shall we say, Olaf, trudges along beside Eve, a big, red, Radio Flyer wagon being towed behind him. The wagon itself is quite curious, full of rock salted ice and various objects, from bottles of soda and water, to christmas tree-shaped containers. All of them filled with some sort of fluid (including a number of bottles of beer!) He seems to be in the middle of some sort of debate with the blonde girl keeping HIM in tow.
"Eve, if we're not fifteen minutes early, we're late. It only made sense for me to wear this the whole day." Pause. "I really need to go to the bathroom though and this thing doesn't exactly have a, um…hole." Did the odd chemistry genius REALLY have to wear the Olaf costume all day?
With him is an Ukulele slung comically (it's SO small on the giant Olaf costume) over his shoulders so that it rests against his plush, Olafy chest. "Besides, I really think all the girls are checking me out. I knew this would be a good idea. It's only natural for the female brain to be attracted to cute things. You know, I suspect I give off a pheremone that just attracts the opposite sex." This goes on for several minutes as they approach the stage.

Eve stops backstage to stare at Charlie. "Yeeeeahhhh… I'm sure all the girls are dying to get a piece of you." Pushing that aside, she grasps the boy by the shoulder and points to a corner. "Look, go get your thing set up and try not to pee too much in the costume. I'm sure people don't wanna see a yellow Olaf." Giving him an encouraging smile, Eve turns and upnods in the direction of one of the temporary room dividers. "I'm gonna go get changed. Don't wander off!" As Eve heads that way, she spots Everett and grins widely at the guy. "Hey Tag! You're looking to be King Snow?" She calls, but doesn't stop cuz the show stops for no one! Eve soon steps behind the divider and sets about changing clothes.

Possibly to be expected, there are more female entrants than male. A bevy of young women who thought it must still be the Miss Snow Bunny contest and didn't get the memo. So many bikinis. Not that Mitch minds, he is being his 'charming' self backstage with the entrants now. A nod to the male entrants - he doesn't think the one dressed as Olaf will have a chance - before a curious look at Eve. One last warm-up of his voice before he heads onstage.

Vyv snaps the cover of his phone closed when Heather rocks up to talk to them, and tucks it away in the inner pocket of his jacket. He has not gone for Overtly Festive, though perhaps the fact that his well-tailored three-piece suit is oxblood is a nod to the season. Or perhaps not, since the accoutrements are a combination of cognac, mustard, and white. He nods to Heather's instructions, shifting position to something a bit less lounged, though still not quite officially 'at the table' — legs still crossed, and a bit far back. A nod, and a faint smile when her gaze falls on him at that point. "No, no questions. I think we ought to be able to handle that." A glance toward Mitch, still doing warm-ups, and he adds, "Oh, maybe one. Can we use the buzzer on him, if need be?" There's just enough hint of a smile still to suggest it's a joke. Probably. And then Olaf the snowman is moving through the area, and he blinks, following that with his eyes.

When he responds, his voice is somewhat muffled by the costume. "Okaaaay, but please hurry, I feel kinda weird standing here all by myself." But he doesn't feel weird in a big Olaf costume towing a Radio Flyer full of water bottles, ornaments full of water, sodas, and beer bottles. Because Charlie. And what's an Olaf to do? The big plush Olaf waddles up to the backstage, dragging behind him the big, Radio Flyer red wagon with all their props it in for Eve's performance.

It takes Everett a seecond to recognize Eve, but then she gets an upnod and a nervous smile. "No, I just …," he starts to explain, but then she disappears behind some curtains to change. So, he just shrugs and goes back to waiting. The dude in the costume gets a quirked eyebrow, but not much more attention. There's bikinis in the area, after all! Even more reason for him to avoid people and keep to himself. And then the staffer who had fetched him back to the contestant area returns with a football, properly inflated, hands it to him, and turns and storms back off in a huff. The boy takes the football, spins it around on his palm a few times, and tries to figure out exactly how he's gonna demonstrate any 'talent' with the football. And just one, too. Huh. Well, it's a good thing he hadn't planned on winning anything!

Calvin only has eyes for Vic and it's noticeable. He's paying attention to the contestants, sure but he's rolling his eyes by the fourth bikini and makes some sort of note about it. But any moment he doesn't have to look at the stage? He grinning at Vic. Or waving. Winking. Silly kissy faces. It'll rot your teeth.

"I wish" Heather sighs to Vyv about Mitch before she wanders off to backstage. "Okay everyone" she announces, clapping her hands to get their attention. "We've randomized the order of appearance and it will be as follows…" She takes out her phone to read out the list. "Cynthia Moses?" A tall brunette gives a wave. "Everett Franklin? Josh Pierce?" A man in his eighties stands…barely…before giving a wave. "Samantha Campbell? Brianna Bucket?" A buxom blonde waves and almost falls out of her bikini. "Marianne McCormack?" A rotund woman in her thirties. "Let's try and keep the show moving. Remember, we're live so try to keep the swearing down. Mitch will do his song and then Cynthia is on followed by Everett. Good luck everyone."

The tabloids are gonna be all over Vic and Calvin tomorrow, no doubt. Shay's mystery woman from the charity rodeo event is on his arm here, and he's making goo goo eyes at her? And she's returning them, a little more blushingly. And likely muttering curse words under her breath because she's smitten with the man and not used to showing affection.

A hand rises above the top of the backstage room divider, signaling with a thumb-up when the name "Samantha Campbell" is read out.

Vyv adjusts his posture and chair to a more 'judge'-looking position, and gives his fellow judge a sidelong look that suggests he may indeed be wondering if he should have brought supplementary insulin. He reaches for his cup of coffee, instead, taking a sip while he neatens the notepad and pens set before him on the table.

Second? Second. Okay. Still time to figure out what he's gonna do. Everett frowns a little and then looks down at the ball. He'd been spinning on his palm sideways, occasioally, and he does it again. The, he flips it over, just holding the end of the ball. He'd messed around with footballs his whole life, maybe he could turn some of the juggling-like tricks into a talent show? He'd never really thought about it before. But, it's the best he's got! So, he starts practicing, flipping the ball up over his shoulder from behind, spinning it in various ways on his hand …. Yup, definitely a good thing he hadn't planned on winning anything.

The lights dim. The orchestra (setting on a keyboard) swells. A pregnant pause before Mitch Buchanan births himself from between the curtains. A spotlight upon him as he waves to the applause. "Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, and judges. Welcome to the Miss Snow Bun…oops…that was the /old/ competition. Now, in these more enlightened times, I welcome you to the 'King and Queen of the Snow Pageant'!" More cheering as he waves to the band and the music starts up. Mitch is singing! He is singing an old Calvin Shay song called 'Her Sugar'. And singing it an a swing style with lots of fingerguns to the audience. The lyrics are…perhaps a little unenlightened. But, having foreseen this, the song has been mashed up with Katy Perry's 'Roar'. And the instrumental break he announces, "Please welcome the 'hashtag me too dancers'!" A chorus line of scantily clad female dancers high kick their way across the stage. Anyone who can see Heather will see her fuming - this was not in the rehearsal. The song comes to an end, Mitch bowing to the applause.

"Can I shoot him? I used to be a cop; I can shoot him right?" Vic asks the person nearest her, in regards to Mitch and his opening number. She stares daggers at Mitch instead. If looks could kill, he'd be a splat beneath those dancers' feet.

Calvin has had a long career. He has songs is his library that are not PC. Songs he never performs, songs that never end up on compilations and if he could nuke them from orbit, he would. 'Her Sugar' happens to be one of them. When he hears the opening, his face goes deep red. An accomplishment for a guy whose face is mostly beard. He looks horrified before the me too dancers come out and after that, Calvin might as well just crawl under the table. Before he has a chance to will the world into opening a hole for him to crawl into, a man stands up and starts demanding, quietly but forcefully to speak to someone in charge. If you're in the know, this person is Grant Preaker, Calvin's manager.

Whether or not he was joking earlier, someone not distracted by the number might notice that as it goes on, Vyv's hand does start creeping toward that buzzer on the table. Just a bit. He resists the temptation, somehow. Granted, that man standing up might have something to do with it; he may not know who it is, but it looks promisingly interesting.

Hearing the opening announcements and then Mitch's song, Eve pops her head out from the side of the room divider and peers around backstage. Spotting Charlie, she "psssts" loudly and waves him over. Oh yeah, she has brushed her hair back into a faux dishevel, which already makes her look much less like her normal self.

Vic grins over at Grant when he stands up and makes demands. She loves that boy for taking care of Calvin. She's kind of hoping they drop the curtain on Mitch. Literally.

Mitch looks rather smug as he takes the, scattered, applause. He even fingerguns off stage at Heather - oh boy is he in trouble now. Still, this is all live so her fury will have to wait. Mitch goes back to addressing the audience and the cameras. "Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Let's get straight into it. The talent segment has begun and first up is Cynthia Moses! Come on down. Everyone give her a warm hand on her entrance." He's digging out the old gags tonight.
Cynthia walks onstage, the tall, attractive brunette pushing out a table on which are a number of glasses with various levels of water in them. "And what is your talent, Cynthia? Drinking water." Mitch pauses for a laugh. Nothing.
"I will be playing them" Cynthia smiles nervously, trying to figure out which camera to look at but then deciding on the judges instead. "A song you all know and love."
Mitch nods and steps to one side. "Take it away." And Cynthia does. Hands moving fast to spin fingers around the top of each glass to produce a noise. The tune /seems/ to be 'Star Spangled Banner' - which may explain Cynthia's Wonder Woman costume. Because nothing says American national anthem better than an ancient Greek superheroine.

It takes a few 'pssts' before Olaf turns his big, plush head in the psuedo dressing room's direction. The Olaf head then tilts slightly, almost like a puppy who thought he heard something but isn't sure. It isn't until the third one where the boy finally spins around and pulls the big head off his real head, tucking it under his arm as he waddles comically over to where Eve is. "Ooops! Sorry! My bad. Excuse me! Olaf coming through!" Pause. "Samantha?" He asks, grinning ear to ear as he adjusts his ukulele and nearly trips over his own two plush, Olaf-feet.

As Wonder Woman gets up on stage, Everett moves closer to the stage entrance to wait or his turn. He's still got the football with him, but he's stopped tossing it around now. Instead, he just watches the stage nervously and waits his turn.

When Olaf finally waddles over, Eve gives the snowman a bit of a stare. "So A, it's Eve. I don't know why they'd want to use my other name! Grrrr." She faux-fumes for a second, then glances around whatever Olaf might be carrying. "And B, are your stuff ready to go? How many are there?" She continues talking to Olaf in a quiet voice.

Edgar waits his turn as well. Once more, it's one of those rare occaisons where he's cleaned up nicely, trading his torn jeans for a suit. There's no taming the hair, though, and he's long since given up trying. He still looks far too young for his years as he busies himself thumbing through a notebook he's brought with him. He takes a pen from behind his ear and jots a few quick notes.

Charlie/Olaf bobs his head, letting the name thing go for the moment as business talk commences. "Right! So," Brief dramatic pause for effect because… Charlie, "I can't setup until it's your turn and I think you're further down the list. So, right after the person's gig ahead of you, I'll set everything." He gestures back toward the big Radio Flyer red wagon. "Don't worry Sam, I've been working on this for weeks. Just work it into your performance like we practiced."

It looks like Cynthia is going to get through her performance. She even gets to light some sparklers at the end. "Merry Christmas, everyone!" she yells out before heading offstage (after any comments from the judges).
Mitch smiles to the crowd. "Wasn't that great, everyone? Thank you, Cyn. And, boy, I thought of a few during that performance." Is that crickets that can be heard or is it Heather sharpening a knife. "Up next is Everett Franklin! He's going to play with his balls."

Vic sticks two fingers in her mouth to whistle for Everett. That's her assistant's boyfriend! "You got this, Everett!" she yells out. Yeah, Vic isn't used to things like this but, with Mitch being Mitch, she's Queen Elizabeth by comparison manners-wise.

After the humiliation of Mitch's cover and a short whispered pep talk from his manager, Calvin's back on board and paying attention. He's very supportive of Cynthia's patriotic performance. No whooping or anything. Just happy clapping and a thumbs up from him. Even though more than one note on the glasses made him wince. But it must be fine! Really!

Vyv arches a brow as Cynthia emerges with her table, and gives her an assessing look as she speaks with Mitch. The expression goes fairly impassive after that, but he doesn't hit the buzzer, at least. That's something, right? He jots down a note or two as he watches. And he does clap at the end, if lightly.
"Interestingly patriotic," he says, looking Cynthia over again once she's done. "It must make a very convenient party piece. And if you considered using whiskey instead of water, you could even provide a drink for anyone who somehow finds themselves in need of one afterward." He has a sip of coffee, himself, since barring her water that will just have to do.

Katherine, the epitome of patience, smiles through the performance and sincerely applauds afterwards.

Trotting up onto the stage, Everett hears the last bit of Mitch's introduction and shakes his head. Moving to the front of the stage, holding the football, he turns to the audience. "Hey folks. First of all, I wanna apologize. If you don't know who I am, I play football for the Roughnecks here at UCC. And, being as how I'm a freshman, and a quarterback that didn't play this year, the team thought it'd be a riot if they signed me up for this. So I'm a /little/ unprepared, and for that, I'm sorry." At that point, he sets the football down and undoes his suitcoat, moving to set it to the side. He then starts loosening his tie, while he talks.
"As far as talent goes, I ain't got much I can show on stage, but hopefully? Next year I'll be able to show it to you on the field, when we try and take UCC all the way to the playoffs!" he finishes, holding his fist in the air and smiling his All-American Quarterback smile. Hopefully there are some fans in the audience that will cheer. If not … oh well. He can't do worse than what's already been up there. Once he's back at the football, he picks it up and flips it casually into the air, lettig it flip end over end before catching it easily in one hand in front of him. "With that being said … here goes!" He'll then start /attempting/ to do some fancy handling of the ball, spinning it on his palm, spinning it on its point, tossing it up behind him and catching it in front of him, balancing the ball on the back of his palm and then letting it fall and catching it with the same hand.
"And, if we could get a spot … say, right on Mitch's face?" he asks, partway through the skills display, pointing at the back of the room with one hand. It takes a second, but someone does manage to put a spotlight up on a rather large photo of Mitch that's hanging at the back of the room. He then turns his body sideways, spinning the ball on the palm of his right hand as he takes two steps back, his arm cocked in throwing position as he stops the spin of the ball. He then /rifles/ a spiral at the back of the room, easily fifty yards away, attempting to hit the photo right between the eyes.

"I definitely approve of that boy," Vic murmurs with a grin, applauding for Everett and his display of hitting Mitch's likeness in the face.

The ball slams into the picture, right between Mitch's eyes. There may be some cheering at that. Mitch, polite smile stuck on is face, wanders back over to Everett. "How about that, everyone? First time I've ever had a ball on my face. Not in the run-on team yet, Everett? What a shame." He looks over to the judges. "What do you think?"

Well, that's a standing ovation from Calvin. He does sit back down quickly and actually speaks. "Mitch, it's almost 2019. If you know about balls to the face, no one will judge you." Calvin says evenly. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. Good job, Everett." He brought his own water, only because he's drinking a /lot/.

Vyv gives Everett that assessing look as well, though the brow doesn't lift until he admits to being unprepared… and then lifts a bit further as the young man starts removing clothing. He takes another sip of coffee before setting it down, and makes a note or two while he watches. Still with the mostly-impassive expression, though there's a perceptible twitch of the lips when Everett chooses his target, and he definitely follows the trajectory of the ball as it heads that way. The impact gets rather more genuine applause from him than the last act. "If you can't be prepared, capable makes a decent stand-in," he says to Everett; Calvin's remark gets a hint of a smirk, but he doesn't chime in on that front.

Mitch gives the fingerguns to Calvin, a big grin about his words. "Hey, I enjoy a ball gag as much as the next man. Thanks, Everett. Next we have Josh Pierce. He is going to give us an example of bull riding." A pause for comedic effect. "Not a real bull." A curtin pulls back to reveal a mechanical bull and a young man riding…and within seconds thrown to the ground. Slowly he pushes himself to his feet.
"My talent is not bull riding" Josh grins, "It's getting back up again and never giving up!" He hops back on the bull and it starts buckig once more. And this time, when he's thrown, it is in the other direction and off the back of the stage. Crashing sounds for ten seconds and then silence.
Mitch smiles back at the audience. "Let's hope he's okay."
A forlorn voice from the back of the stage. "I'm okay."
Mitch smiles and is about to continue when the voice from backstage adds. "Should I see that bone? It's okay, I can get up…" There is another loud crack, this time of bone. "I'm…I'm just going to sit here…" Paramedics are on the way as Mitch resumes his professional hosting duties.
"Next up is Samantha Campbell and…Olaf? Skating. Let's hope she doesn't skate too close to the edge." As Mitch heads offstage he can be heard muttering on his open mic. "I do like skating outfits."

Vic winces for Josh and his bones and just shakes her head at what crazy kids will do to win stuff these days. She is more watching Calvin than anything by now, with a less smirky, slightly sweeter smile on her face. Those two could give you cavities.

Once the judges have finished, Everett will give them a little bow, and then wave to the audience as he makes his way offstage, grabbing his coat on the way. Once backstage, he starts retying his tie and putting the suitcoat back on. As Eve and Charlie make their way to the stage, he'll shoot her a smile and a thumbs up. "Good luck out there. I'd say break a leg," he starts, then looks back at the dude getting thrown off the stage, and adds, "but I think he's got that covered. So just good luck." And then he looks to find someplace to sit down and hide his face from anyone else who might recognize him.

Okay, mechanical bull-riding is an unusual choice as well, and Vyv looks fairly intrigued to see how this is going to go. The first throw's just amusing, but the second one more so as the crashing goes on, but that bone sound gets a genuine wince, and an almost sympathetic look off the poor guy's direction. A note on his pad, and a slight shake of the head; fate's already given its opinion, and that seems pretty final.

It is important to note that Olaf is not on skates. That would definitely be a disaster. He waddles up onto stage pulling behind him a Radio Flyer red wagon full of props. The wagon itself is full of rock salt and ice, along with different ornaments, bottles of water, bottles of beer, and various other things - all with one thing in common: they are in translucent containers, and the water is dyed different colors which is clearly evident as it sloshes around. The Olaf-Charlie goes about setting up the stage with various props and Christmasy decorations and then very, very carefully starts placing all the water-filled ornaments and bottles at various points across the staff
Occasionally, Olaf waves to the crowd and wiggles his big snowman butt as he completes the setup. Then, following completion, he meanders his way off to the side, still on stage, adjusting the tiny ukulele that almost looks comical in his big Olafy hands (though there's an opening where his actual hands slip out to clutch the instrument). Since Eve was already announced, Olaf just waves his hands dramatically in the air and then gestures to the side of the stage that Eve is supposed to enter from (and, inadvertently motions to the -wrong- side of the stage, which elicits a few chuckles from the crowd when Eve makes her appearance).

"Let it go, let it go, I am one with the wind and sky."
"Let it go, let it go, You'll never see me cry!"
Who doesn't recognize those lines, right? And while Eve doesn't have much in terms of musical training, the girl does have a clear, crisp voice and apparently impressive lung capacity. The blonde girl comes on stage in the unmistakable guise of Elsa, complete with blonde hair pulled into a thick braid, and an approximate fascimile of Elsa's icy-blue gown. The top with the lacey sleeves is there, the translucent shawl flows behind her, but instead of a long skirt she wears a short one… with biker shorts in the same ice-blue beneath. The wardrobe change is not immediately noticeable when she gets on stage, arms raised as she sings those lines, but then things shift and it becomes clear why the long skirt is not present.
Eve-Elsa begins gliding across the stage — on rollerskates. The singing stops, but the music continues courtesy of Charlie. She circles the stage gracefully twice, and when she gets back to her starting point, she kicks it up and launches into freestyle slaloming. Rolling back and forth across the stage, she leaps, flips, crossing and uncrossing her feet as she skates forward and back. Snakes. Pirouettes. The girl's performance grows increasingly complex and ambitious, culminating in a criss-cross toe-wheeling between some of the ornaments lined up on the stage.
Completing that move, she circles around in a wide arc and goes low to pick up two of the water bottles laid out by Olaf, then skids to a full stop in the middle of the stage, facing the audience with the bottles held high in each hand….

Charlie-Olaf, having made some last minute executive decisions, had the sound system cut so he could play the song unplugged from his ukulele, creating a more haunting, personable atmosphere for Eve's performance. He almost misses his que as Eve takes center stage, eyes as wide as saucers as, in surprise, he watches her begin her performance. He quickly composes himself and goes full-professional, plucking the right notes as he does his best rendition of 'Let it Go' Uke style. He stays in the back, not doing too much to bring attention to himself, though he does waddle a little and shake his snowman butt, even spinning around a couple times in time with Eve's manuevers.
The energy builds both in the performance as well as in the notes as he strums his uke, culminating in time with Eve and the upcoming big moment in the song…

"Ok, that's pretty impressive, though that song makes me want to tear out what little hair I have left," Vic murmurs. And she doesn't even have kids!

Mitch is on the side of the stage, tapping his feet along to the music. Though can anything played on a ukelele truly be music? When Eve comes to a stop with arms raised, he wonders if she is done. Should he go on stage? Half a step forward.

Katherine watches the performance with avid interest. She can't help but laugh at the costumes, and it clearly takes effort for her not to clap. She watches Charlie play his instrument, flashing a grin as she looks at the other judges.

Vyv watches as well, and there are, of course, notes. Though the expression's not quite so impassive once Eve gets to the really notable flips and such… and goes downright wary when she scoops up those bottles, with their coloured liquids. Whatever they are. A small shift in his seat suggests he might be prepared to get farther away if necessary. Just in case. No buzzer, though. It's clearly okay if it happens to someone else, whatever it is.

Calvin looks a little bit like Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. He frowns and shakes his head as this performance begins. His even reaches for the buzzer but…he refrains. Truth be told, he's got a weakness for the ukulele. He even used one recently! His grumpy face relaxes a bit and he winds up clapping, politely. He has to support the local arts, after all.

"Let it go, let it go, And I'll rise like the break of dawn."
"Let it go, let it go, That perfect girl is gone!"
Eve-Elsa sings aloud again - and then quite dramatically, she smashes the two bottles together. Remarkably, the two bottles abruptly freeze and little ice cubes go flying everywhere. Immediately afterwards, she once again launches into a string of pirouettes and crosses and jumps, zipping to the far left of the stage and turning into a backward roll. As she gains speed, she lowers herself into a Backwards Rocket move, with one leg extended in the air, her entire form balanced on a single wheel on her other foot. She finishes that move by rising up again into a series of full spins, ending in front of another water bottle which she stomps on with one of her skates. Once again, the bottle explodes, and the splash of water immediately turns into ice.
Of course, she finishes up with a "The cold never bothered me anyway!"

"Ok, now that was memorable," Vic says as she claps loudly for Samantha/Eve/Elsa. "Bravo! Well done!" Science!

Mitch walks on, big grin on his face as he gestures to the skater and the snowman. "How about that, ladies and gentlemen. A big hand for our very own version of 'Frozen'. Will that be enough to give Samantha the crown? We shall see." He puts his arm around Eve, pulling her into a side hug. "What do you think, judges?"

Olaf starts bobbing his head and rocking that uke as if he were an 80's metal guitarist, waddling his big Olafy body and rocking out with his carrot out. After Eve finishes the last line, he continues strumming softly, slowly drawing the notes down until he plucks one last, soft 'C', taking a few steps backward again, making sure he's out of the spotlight. The big Olaf head comes off, which he then tucks under his arm and adjusts the uke strap around his shoulders, grinning ear to ear, regardless of the reaction from the crowd or the judges.

Calvin has to concede. That was pretty damn cool. Now he applauds in earnest and smiles. Thumbs up again. Vocal rest sucks.

Katherine nods in agreement, clapping along with Calvin a wide smile on her face. "That was excellent!" She calls out loudly.

All right, that's definitely somewhat raised the talent-section production values. Vyv looks a bit startled at the flurry of ice, but relaxes again in the seat now that it's clear the judging area is remaining safe, relatively speaking. He keeps a close watch on the rest of the performance, and applauds the pair properly when they're done. His notes get a thoughtful look before it comes time for comments.
"Acceptable singing," he says, "but really rather overshone by the rest." It somehow sounds like agreement with the other judges despite being put that way.

Mitch gives Eve's hair a little ruffle before shooing her, and Olaf, off the stage. "Great job, kids. Next up, we have Edgar Ramirez…no…sorry…Edgar Hayes. I'm not exactly sure what this man's talent is but we all have a little one somewhere. Except me of course. Mine's huge. Take it away, Edgar."

What, a ruffle? Eve takes a quick bow at the audience, and gives Mitch a thumb-up before skating to the side of the stage. She'll even scoop up any remaining props along the way, before rejoining Olaf and ushering him off-stage with her. "You make a real good sidekick, Chucks!" She tells the snowman as they head off.

Everett is still sitting offstage, by himself, minding his own business. There's probably a monitor or something back there so the contestants can watch the other people perform, which is how Everett knows, "That was pretty awesome. Glad we ain't competin' against each other." He gives Chuck an upnod, as well.

Waddle waddle. Charlie-Olaf gathers up what props Eve doesn't, placing them all into the Radio Flyer red wagon he used to tote everything around. The rock salt and ice is pretty much melted by now, and any possible chemical reactions that insta-freezes the dyed fluid is impossible as the temperature warms. As they head off the stage, Charlie eyes Eve, his features crinkling up. "Wait, why do I have to be the sidekick? I mean, as long as I'm not Robin, I'm good. How about a…" And Charlie then proceeds to explain the intracacies of sidekicks and what they are responsible for and what he'd willingly do as a sidekick as they exit the stage.
Once off the stage, he spares Eve-Elsa a look and his tone, usually slightly high, resembles something more normal, which is odd coming from the nerd. "You were really great." Ahem. As they pass Everett, he breaks out in a smile, "Gee, thanks." Pause. "Wait, you were talking to her, weren't you? Oh." Awkward.

Edgar steps out on stage, and he says, "Wow, that's a hard act to follow." He looks nice, all cleaned up and be-suited. For those who see him in his usual torn jeans and questionable stages of stubble, it might seem a little odd to see him looking like a productive member of society. He cleans up nicely. He has a notebook in hand. Taking up a microphone, he taps on it, then says, "So anyway, speaking of balls to the face and show tunes, here's something I wrote as Knox Stevens." And he begins to recite.
His writing has a lyrical quality, with a cadence intended for reading aloud. The beats fall in a jagged rhythm, a complement to the subject matter; it's a vignette written from the perspective of someone adrift in space reminiscing about Christmases past. Except the nostalgia is for things that haven't yet been invented. It's the far future looking back on the near future fondly, e.g. favorite replicator recipes for egg nog, how grandma's used an algorithm for 'real' alcoholic rum.
Maybe it's cheating, using one's area of expertise, but Ed's talent is writing, and so that's what he brings to the stage. The vignette concludes with the space traveler's resources fading quickly, and though it'll take up what he's got left, he just needs to taste that 'real' rum in grandma's recipe, and so he diverts all but an hour's worth of life support to the replicator. The reading ends with, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night."

Vic hears the word rum, repeatedly, and feels her mouth start to water a bit. She grimaces and digs her nails into her palm to fight down the urge to find a drink. She drinks her water like a good girl, but she's going to need a meeting after this.

"Dude, you're dressed as a sidekick." Eve points out helpfully once she and Olaf are backstage. Oh and yes, she's still skating along, not walking, which is actually a pretty cool way to travel. "But don't worry, you were awesome as a sidekick! I think I'm gonna keep you." She reassures, giving Olaf a few pats on the top of his head (it helps that she's on skates, y'know), before skating to the row of seats and plops down next to Everett, where she can untie her skates. "Thanks, man! And you, you shoulda tossed the ball at the TV dude. I bet that'll be funny." She muses, watching the TV as Edgar does his reading, only distracted by the buzz of her phone. So, phone duty for now.

Mitch listens to Edgar…tell a story. Not exactly the most exciting thing he could imagine but, hey, the intellectuals will love it. Couldn't he have had an assistant in a sparkly bikini turning 'pages' or something? As it ends, Mitch walks on stage, applauding. "What did everyone think of that?" he asks with a broad grin. "I think the guy in the story died at the end. Not really much of a Christmas tale." Perhaps forgetting that the subject of the original Christmas tale also died horribly at the end. "Let's hear what the judges say" he smiles to Edgar, keeping a foot away from him.

Katherine blinks at Edgar's performance, looking impressed at it. "Impressive." She murmurs, glancing briefly at Mitch when he speaks up. She claps slowly and nods her head, glancing towards the other judges.

When Edgar takes the stage, Calvin, who was making moon eyes at Vic again, takes notice. His expression is neutral, at first, then the melancholy of the piece takes a hold and his eyes go soft and sad. He looks to Vic again and he whistles at her. Not a catcall, no, it's how he's been calling to her since his doctor's order. It's a low, sharp sort of noise. He beckons to her, scoots back his seat and pats his leg. The message is clear. Get here and sit down. Now, the judging. He sighs, thinks a moment and then puts up both hands. Ten fingers. And he smiles and nods a bit. It's got a proud sort of vibe. Like an approving Dad.

Vyv has met Edgar, and even seen him properly cleaned up, but the guy still gets the same assessing look the others have. It does crack a bit, though, when a flicker of a smile greets the 'speaking of' remark. Then it's back to studiedly impassive as he listens. This one gets the proper clapping as well, once it concludes. "I'm fairly sure half the audience wants a drink, after that," he says, though this time it sounds decidedly less like 'to forget about that' was meant to be at the end than the remark on Cynthia's did. "I suppose some recipes really are to die for."

Vic's head snaps over at the whistle, and at the pat she looks surprised, but then nods and makes her way down to the judge's table, to settle on Calvin's knee. Better to be in his lap in public and cause a ruckus in the press, than to slither off in the dark to find some booze. Sobriety has it's rewards.

Blink. Blinkblink. "Fair enough." Charlie-Olaf replies, looking down at the plush costume he's still decked out in. His eyes nearly cross and he looks up reflexively as Eve pats the top of his head. "Alright," He harumphs, reluctantly conceding, as usual, to the blonde girl's logic. "I'm gonna go put all this stuff up and get out of this thing. I gotta take it back by tomorrow or else I have to keep it!" He waddles along with the Radio Flyer red wagon, continuing passed the row of chairs Eve plops down in. "Save me a seat, Sam!" He grins to himself as he tosses out her real name, or at least, his version of it, while he waddles off to go change.

"Uh … yeah, you wasn't bad, either," Everett responds to Charlie, who tried to take Eve's thunder! And then Eve sits down next to him and he moves to give her a little more room to take off her skates. "Nah. If I threw it at the dude, he could charge me with assault, and that's the last thing I need. I'm just glad my arm's better enough for me to make that throw," he explains, nodding back towards the stage. As the dude on stage reads and it shows up on the monitor offstage, Everett's eyebrows raise. "Wait, that's …. Well damn! I've read a couple of books that dude wrote," he says, pointing at the screen. "Never knew he lived around here."

"The judges seemed to like it" Mitch says to Edgar…and he seems surprised to say it. "Our next contestant is Brianna Bucket…"
A young woman's voice calls out from the side. "It's pronounced Boo-Kay."
"Then why isn't it spelt that way?" Mitch replies with a smile before back to the audience. "Miss Boo-Kay, is going to show her some of her cheerleading talents. She will also be the last competitor as Ms McCormack has dropped out. Must have been hungry." Mitch descends to a fat joke. "And, because we're in danger of going longer than the Oscars and bumping the following show to Sunday - 'The Singing Vet's Christmas Carol Cavalcade' - we're going to get all the remaining contestants on stage to answer their questions and give us a pitch why they should win. Once Brianna is done of course. I'm looking forward to this."
Mitch steps aside as the band bursts into cheer music. Brianna, in cheerleader outfit and stilettos, runs on to the stage waving her pom-poms. A big grin on her face as her perfect blonde hair bobs. "Hello, Cala…" The heel of a shoe lands on a small block of ice and suddenly she is sliding across the stage and off the other side. Cue the sound of a crash and the yelp of a stagehand.
Mitch stands in the center of the stage, grin affixed to his face. "Well…that was a pretty unique routine. A big hand for all our contestants and let's get them back on stage for the questions. C'mon, everyone."

Edgar has since stepped off the stage, but he's still close enough to the entrance of it he has a good view of poor Brianna skidding on by. He winces as she crashes. He slinks away from her and the flattened stagehand. He was never here, man. No one can prove anything.

"Two in one day," Vyv murmurs, making another note. "At least nothing sounded broken this time." Except her hopes and dreams, perhaps.

Eve looks up from her phone when she hears the crash on TV… and then the cheerleader along with the stagehand tumbling into backstage. What? She blinks, glances at Everett and… where'd Charlie go? Clearing her throat, she adds, "So, uhm… did anyone hear…." She doesn't even get to finish her comment, when Mitch asks for all the contestants to go back on stage. "I guess that's us!" Hurriedly she finishes removing her skates, and changes back to her ankle boots. Which, it should be noted, don't really go with the rest of her Elsa-ness.

Katherine wrinkles her nose, sitting lower in her seat as she takes a drink from her coffee. She glances at Heather when its said that she's dropped out, chuckling as she waits to see what is next.

With Eve more wrapped up in her phone, Everett watches the monitor. He pays little attention to Charlie leaving, instead giving an upnod to Edgar as he returns to the waiting area. And then, the next contestant is called up. Everett makes it a point NOT to watch Brianna go on stage, so he is very surprised to be there to witness her unceremonious return! Of course, being the nice guy he is, he does move over to try and help her and the stagehand up, which of course has nothing to do with the view of cleavage he gets while she gets back up. Nope, not looking, not staring, not even noticing! Except for the fact that his pointed looking away makes it clear that he certainly did notice.
Once everyone's called back on stage, Everett turns and follows the other contestants as well, standing in line with everyone and clasping his hands together in front of him.

Charlie returns sans costume and props, wearing one of his loud outfits - a green and red sweater depicting Santa riding a T-rex instead of a sleigh with blinking red christmas lights for eyes. He's also wearing a pair of orange with blue trim sweat pants and blue/green kicks on his feet. Replacing the Olaf head piece is an oversized Santa hat, complete with fluffy white ball. A ukulele case is slung over his shoulder as he picks his way through the crowd and plops down in an empty seat near the front, looking up at the stage to watch the contest unfold.

Edgar gives Everett an upnod in turn. He's not in the room long enough to strike up a conversation before it's time for the contestents to return to the stage. He tries to no avail to get his hair to lie smooth with a few sweeps of his fingers, then gives up and just takes the stage again, offering the crowd a smile and a wave.

Heather spots Katherine's look and nods about the contestant dropping out…and she doesn't look happy about it. She hasn't looked very happy all evening. And when those cameras are off, heads will roll.
The contestants line up…or what is left of them. Cynthia. Everett. Josh - is on his way to hospital. Eve. Edgar. Brianna - with a bit of a limp. Mitch gestures to the line-up. "Ladies and gentlemen, two of these entrants will be the King and Queen of the Snow. Who will it be! Our judges have seen their talents and now they will hear about the contestants themselves. Let's start with Cynthia." Mitch heads on over with a swagger. "First your question, Cynthia." He looks at a card in his hand. "It's a toughie. What…is your favorite color?"
Cynthia's eyes narrow as she thinks on her answer. "Red! Is that right? No…blue. Green. Yellow?"
Mitch sighs before summoning a smile. "You like a rainbow. Very forward thinking. Now, Cynthia, why should you win."
Cynthia takes in the question, nodding slowly as she does so. "Okay, first of all. Go America!! Well, Mitch, I should be King and Queen of the Snow because I like snow…and America…and I will use my powers as King and Queen to do good for the community." She smiles proudly.
"You do know you only get to be King /or/ Queen. Probably Queen" notes Mitch, "But I am sure those answers will give our judges a lot to think about." He moves on to Everett. "Your question, Everett, and after you have answered it, tell us why you should be King of the Snow. Your question is, 'Should the US have moved the embassy to Israel to Jerusalem?"

Vyv stares expressionlessly at Cynthia as she answers, and for a moment afterward, before he looks down at his paper, hand drifting up to briefly rub both temples, and makes a note. Surely it must be a good one.

Calvin, with Vic on his lap, has just cranked up the sweetness. He leans his head against her as he watches the stage. He's been writing. Some are notes on contestants. Some are only for Vic to see and he pinches her side a little each time one of those dirty ditties appears. When a question that requires some measure of intellect appears, he blinks and boggles and rolls his eyes.

Everett blinks several times at the question he's answered. Then, he grimaces and rubs at the back of his neck nervously. "Whelp …. Honestly, I can't say I know a ton about politics or nothin', cuz I ain't even been able to vote but once. But, I think, with that whole embassy thing, I think the timing was bad? Like, we ain't had a spot ready and it didn't seem like we put a lotta thought into it. So, I can't say whether we should or shouldn't have, because we ain't take long enough to really figure it out?" he offers, shrugging helplessly at the judges. And the it's time to talk about why he should win.
"As far as winning this competition …. I mean, I could get up here and tell y'all a sob story bout how I come from Willow Heights where we ain't had much, how hard life been and how my 'only hope'," he says, using finger quotes, "is to do well enough at football that I can go pro and get my family out the hood. But that ain't me. My pops always told me all I can control is me, so do the best I can do and be the best I can be. So, I've done that, tonight. If y'all liked it, cool. If you didn't, well, I won't be ashamed. At least I had a talent to show. I mean, it could be worse. I coulda kept tryin'a crack jokes ain't nobody go'n laugh at like this guy," he says, pointing at Mitch and smiling to the audience.

Vic reads the things Calvin writes down with a gleeful expression and whispers to him on and off. She eyerolls at the softball lobbed at Cynthia followed by an actual difficult question for the football player. But Everett handles it well and she applauds for him.

Heather sneaks over to the judge's table, avoiding as best she can all the photos being taken of Calvin and Vic, to crouch down next to Katherine. She whispers, but everyone at the judge's table can hear her. "You're getting a new co-host next year. Just grin and bear him for a couple of more weeks." A comforting squeeze of her old friend's arm.

Katherine blinks at Heather, and then she bursts out laughing, clapping her hand over her mouth. She blinks a few times, quirking a brow at her boss. "Are you okay?"

Vyv arches a brow at the disparity in questions, but tilts his head slightly and waits to see what Everett does. Hard to tell just how well that part goes over, but the last bit of 'why I should win' does in fact get a sharp exhalation that might actually qualify as a laugh, if a virtually silent one. Clearly, the football player's already doing worlds better on the comedy front. Another note, there, with the ghost of a smile, before he's distracted by the far louder laughter at the table, and he looks over to Katherine and Heather.

Eve patiently waits for her turn, hands clasped together while standing in line. Or, maybe not so patiently; when the camera pans across her, Eve notices and wags her hand at it, along with a wide-eyed look and a big grin.

Mitch nods blankly to Everett's answer, totally disinterested. "That's great" he replies, restraining a yawn before moving on to the grinning Eve. "Princess Elsa" she smiles, "Answer the question and then tell us why you should win. Your question is…are you ready? Concentrating. Okay. Who do you admire most in the world?" A pause. "Other than yourself."

Heather sighs at Katherine before rubbing her own temple. "It's been a hell of a night, Katherine. Hell of a night. Thanks for hanging in there. All of you." The last to all the judges.

Calvin's smartphone rings. It's Enter Sandman. Who keeps their phones on during an /event/? Rock stars, duh. Calvin answers with a quiet grunt. He listens. His brow furrows. He cringes and hangs up. He quickly writes down a pair of names, folds the paper and flags it down for delivery to Heather. A quiet mutter to Vic and the pair leave in a hurry, both with a look of mild concern.

Wait, what? It's her turn already? Eve's attention snaps back to Mitch as the question is posed, bringing a thoughtful expression to her face for a few moments. "Well that's a pretty long list." Without asking for permission to pick multiples, she just goes right on. "Amelia Earhart is one, for being a fearless pioneer. Joan of Arc, for being such a badass. Even my sis Uma, who used to be an Army medic and honestly, I don't know where she finds the patience to deal with me. But the most admired? I'm down with Mother Teresa. Seriously, if you don't know her story, Google it. Anyone who chose to spend 70 years helping the poor in India deserves to be a Saint. I've been in awe of the woman since I first heard of her. Totes awesome beans."
She takes a brief pause before going to the next part. "As for why I should win? I guess… I wanna show my family that I can set my mind on something and follow it through too. I know I'm the baby of the family and they kinda give me a lot of leeway, but if I win this thing I'm totes gonna make sure they're proud of me." Beat. "Also, I know it's a bit of a tradition for bikini babes to win this contest, but if the city needs someone to climb a 20-foot tree to light up the top? I bet I can do that better than the bikini babes." She turns to the side towards the bikini babes. "No offense, girls." And then back to the camera. "Oh, and also, World Peace." She holds up a hand and does a peace sign.

Vyv inclines his head to Heather, giving her a faint smile. "I had an open evening," he murmurs, which probably means something approaching 'you're welcome' when translated to normal English. His brow furrows as Calvin departs early, but anything he might have said is abandoned in favour of listening to Eve's answer. Hmmm. Notes, of course.

"Mother Theresa? An admirable choice" Mitch smiles to Eve, though the next answer has him pursing his lips in a frown. He's very much on the bikini babe side…any side he can get. Though he does remember the official line. "We're after the best person here, Samantha, bikini or not." He moves onto Edgar. "You know the routine. Your question is, and it seems right up your alley, 'Do aliens exist and what would you say to them?'." Mitch laughs and addresses the audience. "I know that I would say, 'Put that probe away'. But I don't want to answer for Edgar."

From the audience, Charlie cannot help but grin and shake his head as Eve answers her series of questions. A beacon of blinking christmas lights and big santa hat in an other sea of normally dressed-for-the-cold audience members. When the question about aliens comes up, he jumps up in his chair and almost answers the question himself, suddenly very excited and interested in that particular topic. Of /course/ he would be. He does spare Eve a quick wave and thumbs up. 'You're doing great!' is the general wordless message the blonde's sidekick is receiving.

"That would depend on the alien, Mitch," Edgar responds without missing a beat. "Do I think aliens exist? Yes, I do. Given the sheer number of solar systems in the universe, there are almost certainly some with planets that contain liquid water, a necessary component for life as we know it. Now, that doesn't mean it's all intelligent life, or that we'll ever meet any aliens, but are they out there? Absolutely. As for what I'd say to them, I guess I'd say hello, I'm Ed, tell me about yourself." He looks like there's so much more he has to say on that topic, but he judiciously keeps the nerdening to a minimum. No one is here for the intricacies of crypto-linguistics.
"I'm new to Calaveras, so I winning this would definitely be a first. If I do win, I'll do my best to represent the town. I've felt very at home here, and I can't imagine wanting to live anywhere else. If I should win, I should win because I could've picked any place on Earth, and I picked here, and I would again, every time."

With that kind of sucking-up (that's the technical term) to the crowd, Edgar can't help but get applause. Even Mitch has a smirk as he moves onto the last entrant. "Brianna, unfortunately you had a slight fall in your talent performance, though it is obvious that you're an excellent cheerleader. I know you stiffen my resolve, just with your smile. Here's your question, What is the capitol of Colorado? Take your time."
Brianna sucks on her lower lip as she thinks…and thinks. "Washington, D.C.!"
Mitch smiles and nods, "Technically correct. And why should you win?"
"I'm a cheerleader, Mitch, and what the world needs right now, with so many things going wrong like illegal refugees, crazy environmental protections, and cyber-theft, we need someone who can cheer us up. And that's me!!" She shakes her pom-poms. "Go America!! Cynthia stole that from me." She glares at the brunette. "Skank!"
"Slut!" yells Cynthia in return.
Heather just has her head in her hands as Mitch regains order. "Thank you to all our contestants. Now, it is up to the judges to decide."

Vyv gives Brianna the same flat stare Cynthia got, but not until Mitch gets a dose first. At least Edgar got the usual impassive look. There are more notes. Of course there are more notes. A few moments of considering things, and he writes and passes Heather a brief note as well, before sitting back a bit and taking a sip of what remains of his coffee.

Heather takes the various bits of paper and tallies up the votes; King was a lot tougher than Queen to determine. The final results gets transferred to a card that is presented to Mitch. And, of course, he milks it. He holds up the card. "And here it is. The results of the first annual King and Queen of the Snow competition. The winners will represent our community until the end of February. Their first task will be to officially turn on the Main Street Christmas lights." He clears his throat, looking over the names once more. "Without further ado…and don't forget to watch 'The Singing Vet's Christmas Carol Cavalcade' straight after this broadcast. The King of the Snow is…" A drumroll. "Edgar Hayes! The Queen, Calaveras's vision of femininity and loveliness is…" Another drumroll. "Samantha Campbell! A big hand for our winners." As the crowns are brought out, Mitch starts to sing once more. Stevie Wonder's 'Isn't She Lovely' turned into a swing number.

Charlie is like a deer with those big saucer eyes watching the back-and-forth between the bikini girls. Previously enthralled by Edgar's response, which, particularly with the aliens subject, receives a standing ovation from the boy and an Arsenio Hall fist rolling "Woo woo!" because that's still a thing in 2018, right? If he had popcorn, he'd be chomping away at it…ooo, what's this? An old granola bar! That'll do pig, that'll do. Munching on the granola bar, he kicks his legs in his chair, occasionally waving at Eve if he catch's her attention. Previously in sidekick mode, now he's in cheerleader mode.

Nodding once when he doesn't win, he turns to Edgar and offers a handshake. "Hey, man. Congrats. I've actually read a couple of your sci-fi books. Good stuff. Have fun," he offers to the man. And, after that, he'll beat a hasty retreat, avoiding the cameras and especially the announcer, as he makes his way off stage. Now, wasn't there something about food being provided? Everett's attention quickly turns to finding out about it, as he hunts down a stagehand to get the scoop.

As the winners are announced, Charlie is back up out of his seat again, clapping his hands enthusiastically and offering up his best channeled Buddy Christ thumbs up to the Elsa-gowned girl.

Edgar's eyes widen. He won? That's the first surprise that hits him. He won! The second shock is that, wow, it actually means a lot to him that he won. What happened to his shrivreled, cynical New Yorker soul? He brings his hands to his face in an unconscious impression of Stefon from Saturday Night Live. Then he shakes Everett's hand and says, "Thanks, man. And thank you for hitting Mitch in the face." He says that like it means a lot to him. Then he turns to Eve and says, "How cool is this? Congrats!"

Eve's reaction is a mix of elation and consternation. She leans forward to peer in Mitch's direction when he announces her to be the new Queen of Snow, with a look that says "Dude, can you get my name right?" But there's no time for that, so Eve just steps forward and holds up both hands with victory signs at the audience. Her sidekick is definitely not missed, who receives a grin and a wink before Eve turns to her fellow winner. "Ditto, Bert!" She exclaims, even spreading her arms for a hug.

Vyv joins the applause for the winners, and even waits long enough for the winners to have their moments of celebration — and their crowns — and for it to just be Mitch still swingin' before he finally gives in to the night-long temptation; his hand darts out swiftly to give the buzzer a nice emphatic whack.

Balloons fall from the sky. Glitter cannons shoot glitter everywhere. There is cheering from the crowds. Crowns are lowered onto Edgar and Eve. Mitch's song interrupted by the buzzer and he frowns over at Vyv. These people don't understand true art! He beams at the camera. "Good night from the Antler Pass Ski Resort. If you enjoyed the show, tell your friends. If you didn't, work as a critic. They never like anything." A few moments later and the call of 'Clear!' means the live broadcast is over. There is plenty of food and drink to be had. Everett will not starve.

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