(2019-01-18) Cake Day
The cake is not a lie.

Katherine is sitting at her dining room table, a fork and the cardboard that usually holds a cake sitting in front of her. There is a few pieces left, and Kate looks at them with a mild look on her face. She got a phone call from Uma's office, and asked the receptionist (who might have also been her sister) if the doctor could make a house call. Now she waits, drinking milk from a tall glass.

"House call!!" Uma calls into the house as she makes her way in. "Always wanted to say that. I can just walk in, right?" She, eventually, finds her patient. "Hey" she smiles, removing her coat. "Cold out." A quirk of a brow at the cake. "Did you eat all that yourself? Damn. Cravings this early. Just kidding! I wanted to check up on you and make sure the contraception worked."

Katherine turns her head when Uma announces herself, pushing slowly to her feet to take Uma's coat. "You can just walk in, yes." She nods to a chair, hanging the coat from a hook near the door. "It is supposed to snow like the dickens tomorrow." She glances at the cake, a guilty look forming on her face. She grunts out a response, might sound like a yes, before she takes a seat. "It worked, I've had my period and ..I feel fine otherwise? How do I know for sure? I only ever spot, really."

Uma smiles a thanks at the coat being taken away. "Such service." Then things get serious and she nods about Katherine's period. "Good start, not definitive, but you should be fine. I can do a blood test if you want. Not right now, obviously, though I can take blood. Syringes, never leave home without them." She is the type who will wait to be asked to sit - damn military training. "Eve tells me she went to see you at the television station."

"Would you like some coffee, Uma? Sit right there next to the cake, please take a piece if you want one. I obviously don't need anymore." Understatement. Kate moves over to the stove, plucking the fresh pot from the coffee maker to pour two cups. "Wait, isn't it a for sure thing that I take that pill and then baby problems over? I don't want baby problems. I have a sister upstairs who's doing that for me already." She nods at Uma, giggling softly. "She's a fast talker, your sister. I need to talk to you as well, to see if you'd be interested in some of what I offered her, and..if she's allowed to participate." She carries both cups of coffee toward the table, setting them down.

"Coffee will be fine, thanks" Uma nods as she sits, turning the cake box a little to avoid seeing any of the few remaining slices. Damn, Katherine must have eaten a lot. "Umm…so…all this cake. Everything okay? And nothing is certain with medicine…just like life. The body does like to do it's own thing. But, seriously, for you to be pregnant would be close to impossible." A laugh about Eve. "Did she let you get a word in? She was very excited…not sure I understood most of what she said. Only because it was said so quick."

Somewhere in the middle of discussing blood, the back door opens after the quiet approach of one August Lexington, and the tattooer steps inside the B&B. She pulls the door closed behind her, for once wearing a weather appropriate fuzzy sweater, sort of. It's a dark grey, 3/4-sleeve sweater which is fairly low-cut in a V. Her skinny jeans are black, distressed, knees ripped. One her feet are a pair of black ankle boots, 4 inch heel, red sole. Overall, she's looking fairly tame tonight aside from her usual copious amounts of ink showing. Her long hair is worn in a loose, heavy grey braid over one shoulder. "Hey, Katie, sorry that took longer than I thought." She glances up, notes Uma, and smiles. "Hey." She wanders over toward the counter.

Katherine is dressed in sweats. Baggy sweats. Might hide the food baby from too much cake. She eyes Uma for a few moments, nodding easily. "Good. Don't want to be pregnant. Probably not ever. Maybe." She laughs out loud and lets out a sigh. "I invited her to be part of a show that I'm developing, but there will be special circumstances for her appearance. The show does have an adult flavor to it, and I don't want to influence your sister in any bad ways. I'll show you some samples of what we'll be talking about. I also would like for her to be on the morning show a few times, we should have the Snow Queen at least stop by to chat." Kate gestures to Uma, eyebrow quirked. "I would also like you to appear on the evening show, because of well.. everything. You have a good voice, and I think having someone who can discuss the medical side of squicky girl stuff would be great." August appears and Kate smiles in her direction. "It's okay. I didn't eat any more cake. Honestly? I don't think that I could, not without exploding. Want tea?" She gets to her feet, moving to make it anyway. "This is Uma Campbell, potential show guest and my doctor."

Uma stands at the arrival of August, offering her hand as she is introduced. "Nice to meet you" she smiles, so polite. Greetings over, she resumes her seat to give Katherine a curious look. "You want me on a TV show? Oh…okay. I guess if you need someone to talk about medical stuff, I should be able to do that. I have a piece of paper on the wall that says I can at least" she grins. Then she is sucking on her lower lip as thoughts turn to Eve. "She's smart. Opinionated. I keep thinking she's still six sometimes. Big mistake. You know what, Katherine, maybe you shouldn't do special circumstances for her. She mentioned drinking? Okay, none of that, but sex…this country really needs to talk about that openly and honestly. Sex education in this country has been destroyed by prudes and old white men. Not saying it's as bad as Malaysia, where they sexualise nine year olds and condemn them for being independent, but it's not good either. Eve could be a good voice for that."

Of course Auggie walks in on a pregnancy conversation, because this is just how her life goes now. She grunts something under her breath, then she smiles at the offer of tea. "Yes, please." The grey-eyed woman turns her attention to Uma. "August Lexington," Aug says, leaning across the counter to extend a hand to the blonde. Her shake is firm but brief. She does glance over to Katherine before she asks, "Why did you massacre your cake by yourself, girl? And don't worry. I'll save you from the rest if no one else will jump in front of that train."

Kate finishes the cup of tea, watching Uma as she prepares it. "I mean, we're preparing to be as frank and honest as we can be without making people vomit, of course. Opinions are also welcome, not to mention funny anecdotes and the like. We won't be drinking when Eve appears, of course not, but I did plan on discussing sex. I just was going to attempt not to be as explicit as I think we might be when we don't have teenagers around. I plan on the show being very frank and honest, because as you said? There is a lot in this world that goes unsaid, and that is how mistakes happen. Our discussions, our pasts, and our presents could serve as a humorous, yet cautionary tale on how to navigate adulthood in this society as a man and a woman. I'm really looking forward to getting started. August here is one of my co-hosts." She eyes August, the woman still hasn't formally agreed yet. She carries the tea to the table and gestures to the pieces remaining on the cake cardboard. "Please, it's good cake. I didn't make it. I can't even look at it right now." She pointedly doesn't answer the why though.

"Cake is all yours" Uma smiles to August. She's a doctor, she's gonna eat right! She can be so boring, just ask Eve. "But that's the thing, Kate. Teenagers know more dirty words that I'll ever know. Seen more porn than I ever will…I really need to get my interent upgraded. But they don't /understand/ it. They think they do. Heck, we've all been there. Thought we knew everything when we were sixteen, but now we realise how little we knew. I don't want to hide anything from those teenagers who would watch this show. Don't treat them like kids or they'll have kids. Oh…shoot…sorry, Kate. That sounded way more harsher and personal than I meant."
<FS3> August rolls Mind+alertness: Good Success. (6 6 7 7 7 6 3)

Auggie leans over and picks up a corner piece with her bare hand. Unless it's a round cake, then she just takes the biggest piece, because that, my friends, is how she rolls this week. "Is this a roundabout way," Aug pauses to lick a glob of frosting off her fingers. "Of saying you want me to talk about how you shouldn't get high as balls and fool around with three men in the space of a week?" She breaks off a piece of cake with her fingers, her other hand serving as a cake plate. She's fairly neat about it, despite all the lack of cutlery. "Speaking of which, Doc, do y'all do that 8-week paternity blood test at the hospital?" She mms and takes another bite of cake. "This is pretty good, even if you didn't make it, Katie." She mms and pauses between bites. "Aw, porn." She glances between Uma and Katherine, then fixes her gaze on Kate. "Oh."

"I want you to talk about what you want to talk about. We're totally talking about orgasms though, and cake, and how to have sex with three men in a week and walk tall in your stilettos after that." Katherine aims a fond look at August, wincing as she eats the cake. She apparently can't even watch that right now. "Porn. We'll be talking about porn. We'll be talking about a lot of things. Uma, you'll be helping us with that, of course." She shrugs and takes a sip from her coffee. "So will your sister." She exhales softly and turns to make eye contact with August. For a moment she's very deer in the headlights, and then she glances away, getting to her feet. "Forgot the fucking chocolate for my coffee. Shit."

Uma looks very guilty…and feels pretty stupid about what she said. Way to go. Get fired before you get hired. Time to (partially) change subject. "Three men in a week?" She is seriously outclassed here. "Not sure I could come up with three men in a decade." To August she offers a smile. "I don't work at the hospital but I'm sure they do that test. I could even take the samples and organise it if you like." Her phone rings and she plucks it out to look at it with some confusion. "Sorry, one sec." Answering the phone with a 'hello', she quickly changes to another language completely. Uma looks surprised to hear whomever she is talking to in what is Arabic to those in the know.

"Mostly having sex with three guys is the same as having sex with one, but it helps if you're drunk and making bad decisions, or happen across three really smoking hot folks in a week. Beer goggles only go so far, really." August does not mention the percs. Yanno. She keeps that one to herself. "I prefer lady-produced porn." She mms after another bite of cake and looks to Uma. "It was a really good week, and it was right before Christmas, so happy birthday to me." She smirks at that and lips a swipe of frosting from her fingertip, then pauses. "I… yes, that would be incredibly convenient." Having Uma take the samples in a less then hospital-y setting. Way less pressure. August has a moment with her cake. She glances over to Uma again when that particular language pops out of her mouth. Yes, Aug's familiar enough to recognize it.

There is a smile on Kate's face when August mentions the smoking hot folks. She shares a look with the inked woman for a brief moment before she lets out a soft laugh. "Same. Lady produced porn is a lot better and has a lot less ..what's the word that I'm looking for.." She narrows her eyes and then perks up, remembering. "..gross pounding. Now don't get me wrong, pounding has its place, but should be some things going on before and after that." She clears her throat, her nose wrinkling as she realizes she's jumped down a rabbit hole. "Uma is a good doctor, August. She's gonna be my new doctor." She spots the worried look on her face and she looks confused for a brief moment before she unabashedly listens to the phone conversation, letting nobody else know that she can understand most Arabic.

For those that understand, it seems Uma is talking to someone she hasn't seen for years and is quite surprised they have her number…or are even alive. A time to talk is arranged before the doctor hangs up to resume her seat. "Sorry about that. Old friend. What were we talking about? Oh…porn?" A blush to her cheeks. "How do you know if a girl produced it or not? It's not as if they put their real name on it. I mean, 'Buster Hymen' is no one's real name. Not that I've seen any films of theirs…" Maybe she should have a slice of cake.

August winks at Kate, the flicker of her lashes brief, but noticeable. What, they have that in common, good taste. She barks a brief laugh at gross pounding. "Truth. You should save that line for filming." She sobers up a bit when the doctoring bit is mentioned, and nods. "I… should see someone too. I mean, I need an OB." She's very early days, because considering the tightness of her jeans, she's not yet showing. "Usually the lady-porn is from a studio—well, I'll send you a couple lists. There's a hot studio in Brooklyn. I dated one of the producers a couple times, but she was always working. We're still friends, though." She finishes off a huge piece of cake in small, ripped off bites, licks her fingertip, then goes to wash her hands thoroughly.

"I probably should." Kate murmurs, crossing her legs as she tries not to laugh aloud. "You can always tell when something is lady porn because most times? The lady is treated a lot better and has a lot more control over what is going on in the setting." She shrugs and reaches out, swiping a glob of frosting to stick in her mouth. She sighs, and when doctors are mentioned again she shifts a look to Uma. "So, this is going off the beaten path that we were discussing, but..what kind of aftercare would you suggest for a panic attack if you can't take sedatives anymore?" She raises her eyebrows and then she remembers herself. "August, what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"You could always use the same OB as Lynn?" Uma suggests to August, "But I am more than happy to do anything I can to help. I'm just a lowly GP. Though, if you're ever shot, I'm good at those too. Umm…not that I'm recommending you get shot." An embarrassed smile at the offer of a list and then a blush as she realises August had a /girlfriend/! Thankfully, there is medical talk. "Why can't you take sedatives?" is Uma's first question for Katherine. "I mean, you should seek alternative ways of relaxing anyway, but is there a reason you /can't/ take them? Remember, everything is related to everything, even if you don't think it is. So, if you have an illness that stops sedatives, it could be associated with why you have panic attacks. Life loves vicious circles."

Aug glances over her shoulder as Kate asks about the sedatives, then turns back to the sink to flick water from her hands, and grab a towel to dry them. She's quiet for a few beats, then answers, "I don't think there's anything going on tomorrow. I'm off work." She turns her back to the conversation. "I could use a GP, if you're taking new patients. I didn't plan to stay here, but it looks like I'm doing that." Staying, that is, staying now. Here, in Calaveras. Which clearly sort of mystifies her how it all happened so quickly. "I promise I do my best to avoid situations in which I might get shot." She glances over at Kate, and then back to Uma.

Kate exhales slowly, and she looks slightly embarrassed, her gaze on her knees. "Been taking sedatives when I wasn't prescribed sedatives. I'm trying to ..get clean? Uhm. Stuff like that, so I've been looking for alternatives when something heavy comes up. Like, I had one last night, and I woke up this morning with muscle cramps and one hell of a headache." She clears her throat and smiles toward Uma. "So I'm looking for ways to deal with things going on, already looking into talking to someone." She leans back in her seat, happy to let August talk to Uma about wanting a doctor, her hands wrapping around her warm cup so she can lift it to her lips. "I'd like to sit down tomorrow and possibly see about scheduling some people for the show. Nothing heavy or serious." When being shot comes up, she nearly chokes on her coffee, turning away to clear her throat.

"I'll take all the patients I can get" Uma replies to August before a little wince. "Not that I want people to get sick or anything. I mean, it's not about me, it's about everyone else. And…I'm going to stop talking about that now." A sip of her coffee while Katherine talks, brow furrowing more with every word. "Is it only sedatives you've been taking?" she asks lightly. "You know, if you're taking them when you don't need them, that lessens their effectiveness when you do. And then you take more. It's another one of those vicious circles." A frown at talk of cramps and headaches. "Maybe I should take some blood." She nods at the coffee. "How much of that do you drink?" And now some of it is being sprayed all over the table as Katherine chokes. "Are you okay?" Uma reaches out to rub at their hosts back.

August murmurs, "You're ok. You'll be okay. I kicked. You can too." That's to Kate, obviously. Let's not revisit the part where August has kicked twice now, and it's an ongoing battle. That's something Katherine will come to on her own. "More chocolate helps." She moves back to her seat, and perches on the edge, then rests her laced fingers on the table. "Sure, tomorrow's good for that." She looks to Uma and nods, "I know what you meant." There's a smile there, flirting with the corners of her mouth. "My medical history is fairly clean, but I haven't had a workup in ages, and, like I said, I could use a referral to an OB. Because I'm about to stress my body and… I should probably have a thorough check up. I did kind of a lot of drugs in my early twenties. I just want to be sure I'm okay before I get into this… baby thing."

Katherine sighs when Uma asks that question, shaking her head toward the blonde as she frowns. "I mean, lately, yes. Just..it's been a while since I've taken anything else." She jerks her shoulder up as she shrugs, her fingers picking dried frosting off of her sweatpants. "I'm all for kicking vicious circles, but I have trouble sleeping most times. Uh, the headache and the cramps might have been because I was on a plane, didn't sleep for twenty four hours, and then ..kind of got emotional last night? I don't know though, I'm not a doctor." She winces when Uma mentions taking blood. "I uh, suppose you can do that, but I can't really look. I'm not great with needles." She glances toward the great room, as if she is tempted to do a runner. After eating all that cake, it's probably not possible though so she just continues to sit. She reaches out, under the table, to squeeze August's knee for a moment when she offers the encouraging words. She pulls out her phone, checks it, and frowns.

"No need to go through pregnancy alone" Uma smiles to August. "Fairly clean is good" she admits with some hope before finding a business card to hand over. "Call anytime. Eve may answer the phone…bear with her." Then there is medical talk of a more imminent nature from Katherine. "Mind is very much connected to the body. Get yourself emotional, your body feels it." A sly smile appears. "Why would you want to watch someone jab you with a needle?" She jumps up to her feet to grab some equipment from her coat pocket. "Roll up your sleeve." Uma can't help but notice the frown at the phone. "Is that the cause of the emotions?"

August smiles to the table, her head down for a moment, and touches Kate's hand on her knee. She glances over at Kate and says, "I only stings for the first four seconds or so. Really, just don't look." She's better at giving this advice than taking it. She moves to rise before the needles actually do come out. She leans in to take the business card, though. "Thank you. I'll call soon." She looks between them. "Ladies, please excuse me. I have a date with my bathtub and a bottle of peach bubble bath. Katie, if you need me… text me, okay? I'll take my phone in." She looks to Katherine for a moment, then swipes another piece of cake, barehanded.

"I think I'm going to give into jet lag soon, honestly." Katherine murmurs, watching August swipe the cake, a soft chuckle leaving her lips. She looks away when Uma goes to work, keeping her eyes on her nice shiny new mixer. Yep. Safer. "I'll text you before I pass out though." She slumps in the chair a bit and sighs. "Thanks Uma, I really appreciate you coming here, and being so calm about everything."

"I've had much more strenuous situations then talking to friendly women over coffee and cake in my life" Uma smiles as she moves to take blood. "It was nice to meet you, August. I hope to see you soon. Take care of yourself." A dab of anaesthetic on Katherine's arm after the blonde finds a vein. "Have you just got back from somewhere? Well, obviously, since you said you were on a plane." Of course she notices the stress avoidance but will hold off for now. Maybe. Though it will require her to stop being a good doctor for a few minutes, out of respect for Katherine. "All done." And, sure enough, she has a syringe full of blood.

"Thanks for the cake, Kate." August murmurs. She glances over her shoulder and flashes a little grin. "I'm gonna go see if my boyfriend's home, so I can smash this all over him and see how he feels about it." She even gives a little eyebrow waggle by way of distraction, so Uma can whip out her needles while Kate's dealing with the mental image of August making creative use of Tony and frosting. "You're welcome. And give me like thirty minutes before you text." She hits the door, pulls it open, peers out to see if the Garage Suite lights are on, and then calls back, "Maybe like… an hour." Hm. "And a half." And then there's one more thing she says before the door's pulled shut behind her. "Lovely to meet you, Uma! Talk soon!"

Kate smiles over at Uma. "Paris." She says, shrugging before she gets an eyeful of the syringe. She swallows convulsively and gets up to clean up what is left of the cakepocolypse. "I don't know what you're looking for with the blood, but when should I expect results of any kind?" She dumps things in the trash and begins to wash cups, plates and silverware, glancing over at Uma with slightly raised eyebrows. She winks at August as she slips out, wincing at where her cake might end up. "Oh dear." She murmurs softly.

A wave to August from Uma as the tattooist disappears. "She lives here?" she asks Katherine while storing the syringe away safely. "I'm checking for a lot of things. Drugs…only in how much there is still in your system. White blood cells…see if you're ill. Pregnancy…just in case. I promise this, and I mean it, anything I do is for my patient's benefit. Sometimes they may not see that, but I'm sincere in that. You have a boyfriend, Kate? Someone you can talk to about things?"

"She lives in the garage suite." Kate replies, tilting her head to the side as she brushes her hair behind an ear. "I do." She says, in regards to the boyfriend. She makes a slight face about talking about things, frowning before she adds. "He's part of my stress, but all men are stressful." She finishes with the dishes, drying her hands and moving to the table. She taps her phone, reads a text, and quickly taps one back. "Okay. I look forward to hearing the results, I suppose?"

"Yeah, I remember them as stressful" Uma nods, unable to miss Katherine's desire to both change subject and get her out of the house. "Take care of yourself and please, if you need to talk, call me any time of the day or night. I assure you I will never be too busy to take it." A nod in the direction of the garage as she puts on her coat. "She seems to be a good friend. Talk with August. But I'll get out of your hair and let you get some sleep."

"Bless you, Uma. I'll call and let you know when I'll be scheduling things for you and your sister. I imagine you might want to be there for her taping as well?" Katherine shifts a gaze up at Uma, taking a deep breath before she adds. "Also, the..no judgement thing was nice, and I really appreciated it. Thank you."

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